Whether you’ve been in the online dating game for awhile or you’re just starting out, there are a few common mistakes you might be making that can easily be avoided. If you aren’t getting as many messages as you’d like or you aren’t getting the responses you’re looking for, now may be the time to change your technique and try a new approach.

You Don’t Have a Picture Posted

If you’ve got a great profile set up with no picture and you’re wondering why you aren’t getting many messages, this could be the reason. A lot of people out there don’t want to message someone they can’t visualize. This doesn’t mean they’re shallow or appearance focused, but having no picture could make them think the worst. Even if you don’t like photos of yourself, having any picture on your profile is better than having nothing at all.

You Aren’t Being Completely Honest

You don’t have to lay out your entire life story on your profile or make a checklist of all your flaws and secrets, but being honest about who you are will make things easier for you if you’re looking for a real connection. Trying to explain later why you no longer have the job you said you did, or what happened to your amazing car you mentioned, could be awkward and will make you look dishonest and untrustworthy.

Misleading or incredibly old photos can also be a bad idea when it comes time to meet your online interest. You may have developed a deep enough connection for them to look past the fact that you’re no longer 20 with a full head of hair, but in most cases, it makes a bad first impression to arrive to a date looking nothing like they expected.

You’re Too Hard on Yourself

Nobody expects you to be perfect, but filling your profile up with a list of your flaws, shortcomings, and bad habits might scare people away. You do want to be honest, but you don’t need to slander yourself. If there’s something you really think people should know, by all means put it up there, but for the most part you should make your profile as flattering and friendly as possible. They’ll have time to learn about your quirks once they get to know you, so give yourself the opportunity to get to that point.

It’s good to be clear about you want and be as straightforward as you see fit, but you want to remember that the person you’re talking to doesn’t know you yet so building a little bit of trust first will result in a better connection. Sounding jealous or desperate to someone you’ve just met is a good way to get yourself on their block list, so online or offline, keep things light with the people you’ve just met and take the chance to learn more about each other.

Some people who use online dating sites aren’t always looking for a long-term relationship. If you want to find the man or woman of your dreams, you’ll need to know how to steer clear of these people and look for like minded online daters to create a true connection with.

Sign Up On the Right Site

Some sites cater specifically to people looking for a more casual type of connection while others are focus more on matching up individuals for marriage. Larger, more popular sites may be set up to offer both and will allow you to indicate what you’re looking for. Pay sites will usually have people who are more committed to looking for a serious relationship and the fact that they’re willing to pay membership fees verifies that.

Choose Someone Who Is Compatible

If you really want to find someone to spend time with and develop a connection, it can be tempting to lower the bar and give just anyone a chance. While it’s great to keep your options open, it’s important to make sure you aren’t wasting your time on someone you wouldn’t be compatible with. Review their profile before starting up a conversation and make sure they haven’t indicated anything that you don’t think you would be okay with in the future.

Focus On Getting To Know Each Other

You don’t have to rush into meeting each other right away. To develop a deeper connection, it may be smart to really get to know each other online with e-mail and instant messaging and move on to phone conversations. Taking it slow and meeting once you’re both ready will most likely make both of you feel more comfortable and at ease with each other which will make your first date go that much more smoothly.

Stay Positive and Optimistic

Not every online encounter you have is going to go the way your like and you won’t always hit it off with everyone you talk to. Accepting rejection and moving on from it will allow you to be pleasant and optimistic when meeting someone new rather than acting bitter and cynical and possibly scaring them off. This applies as well to any offline experience you’ve had that may have left you bitter. Putting your friendliest foot forward is sure to give you better reactions and responses from possible love interests.

Choosing the right online dating site is the key to finding your perfect match. With so many different types of sites out there to choose from, a little research will go a long way in finding your Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Pay Site versus Free Site

One of the biggest decisions when it comes to online dating sites is whether to use a free site or pay for a membership. Free sites can be very effective and can give you many options for potential connections. Pay sites, on the other hand, may draw in a more serious type of online dater who is truly looking for an honest connection and likely a long-term relationship. Your decision between pay and free sites will be based on what you’re hoping to find and what you can afford.

Niche Dating Sites

For those out there who have serious passions or interests, a niche site may be a great way to meet like-minded individuals. Some of these sites are geared specifically towards people looking for marriage and others may be centered more on a specific religion or lifestyle. Whether you’re looking for someone who is dedicated to a certain sport or has a deep political inclination, a niche site can really be something worth looking into.

Popular Online Dating Communities

If you choose to go with one of the online dating giants such as eHarmony, Match.com, or PlentyOfFish, you’ll probably be impressed at the sheer volume of potential matches these sites can offer. Because they’re so popular, they can give you plenty of options to search through and they usually have excellent tools on their site to set you up with the perfect match.

These sites are usually easy to navigate and have great e-mail and instant messaging services. While they lack the specificity of smaller sites, they often allow you to set a customized criteria of what you’re looking for. Some sites, such as OKCupid, will give you a series of personality quizzes to determine the best matches for you.

Browse through a few of the sites that look most appealing to you and if they have free trials, give them a try. If one site doesn’t work for you, set up a profile on another one. Don’t be discouraged if you have a bad experience from any one site in particular. Different sites may be built to cater to certain types of people, so finding the one that works for you is the best way to find the match that suits you perfectly.