Whether you’ve been in the online dating game for awhile or you’re just starting out, there are a few common mistakes you might be making that can easily be avoided. If you aren’t getting as many messages as you’d like or you aren’t getting the responses you’re looking for, now may be the time to change your technique and try a new approach.
You Don’t Have a Picture Posted
If you’ve got a great profile set up with no picture and you’re wondering why you aren’t getting many messages, this could be the reason. A lot of people out there don’t want to message someone they can’t visualize. This doesn’t mean they’re shallow or appearance focused, but having no picture could make them think the worst. Even if you don’t like photos of yourself, having any picture on your profile is better than having nothing at all.
You Aren’t Being Completely Honest
You don’t have to lay out your entire life story on your profile or make a checklist of all your flaws and secrets, but being honest about who you are will make things easier for you if you’re looking for a real connection. Trying to explain later why you no longer have the job you said you did, or what happened to your amazing car you mentioned, could be awkward and will make you look dishonest and untrustworthy.
Misleading or incredibly old photos can also be a bad idea when it comes time to meet your online interest. You may have developed a deep enough connection for them to look past the fact that you’re no longer 20 with a full head of hair, but in most cases, it makes a bad first impression to arrive to a date looking nothing like they expected.
You’re Too Hard on Yourself
Nobody expects you to be perfect, but filling your profile up with a list of your flaws, shortcomings, and bad habits might scare people away. You do want to be honest, but you don’t need to slander yourself. If there’s something you really think people should know, by all means put it up there, but for the most part you should make your profile as flattering and friendly as possible. They’ll have time to learn about your quirks once they get to know you, so give yourself the opportunity to get to that point.
It’s good to be clear about you want and be as straightforward as you see fit, but you want to remember that the person you’re talking to doesn’t know you yet so building a little bit of trust first will result in a better connection. Sounding jealous or desperate to someone you’ve just met is a good way to get yourself on their block list, so online or offline, keep things light with the people you’ve just met and take the chance to learn more about each other.